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What does the term dissolution of marriage mean? This may be an individual’s personal realization that it is time to cut their losses. Couples counseling hasn’t worked. Prayers have not been answered in the way they were desired. Or face-to-face attempts to make things better with their spouse have not turned the marriage around. This epiphany — that it might be in everyone’s best interests to move on — can be emotionally draining, sad, and even scary. It is a personal call that everyone needs to make for themselves. And it is at this point that you may wish to consult a divorce attorney to learn more about the divorce process.
What Does a Dissolution of Marriage Mean Legally?
Dissolution of a marriage is “legal speak” for the start of the divorce process. Each state in the United States has different requirements before a divorce action can begin. For example, in most states, you will need to meet both “residency” and “grounds” requirements.
What are the Residency Requirements for a divorce?
Each state has its own residency requirements before a divorce action can be filed in court. You must read your state’s grounds requirements very carefully because many have multi-part directives. For example, in New York:
- Either you or your spouse must have lived in New York for at least two years immediately leading up to the date you file for divorce
- Both you and your spouse live in New York at the time you file for divorce , and the cause for the divorce occurred in New York, or
- Either you or your spouse has lived in New York for at least one year immediately leading up to the date you file for divorce and:
- Your marriage took place in New York
- You and your spouse lived in New York during your marriage, or
- The cause (“grounds”) for the divorce occurred in New York
What are Grounds for Divorce?
Grounds for divorce essentially mean the legal basis for why you are seeking a divorce. Currently, the most common reason in most states, including New York, is “no fault.” This means that the marriage has been irretrievably broken for a period of at least six months. You do not have to be physically separated for six months to allege this ground. Neither party is to blame for the deterioration of the marriage. Commencing a “no-fault” divorce usually makes the divorce less contentious and less work. With an uncontested divorce, neither party has to prove that the other party wronged them. Whereas proving a fault ground can take time, energy, and more in legal fees.
Feeling crazy? Alone? Outside the norm? Check out this article if you wonder what percentage of marriages end in divorce.
If you believe “fault”-based grounds apply to your situation, you might consider pleading one in your divorce. These grounds differ by state but generally follow similar criteria. For example, in New York, recognized “fault” grounds include the following:
- Imprisonment: When one spouse is incarcerated during the marriage for a specific period of time, the other spouse has a right to file based on this ground as long as the spouse is still incarcerated at the time of the filing. Check your state to know how long the other party must be incarcerated for before you can commence a divorce. In New York, the spouse must have been incarcerated for a period of at least three consecutive years. The jail sentence must have commenced during your marriage and not before it.
- Cruel and inhuman treatment: This may include physical, mental, or emotional harm perpetrated on one of the spouses. It could mean physical abuse or threats of physical abuse. It usually results in the harmed party having physical or psychological distress. It would be unsafe to continue to reside together.
(In this scenario, it’s not unusual that a woman may be too afraid to divorce for fear of repercussions from her spouse. In this case, it’s important to seek support from others who can advise on how to proceed and remain safe.)
- Abandonment: When one spouse has left their partner for one year or more without the other spouse’s consent or justification. There is also “constructive abandonment,” where one spouse refuses sexual relations with the other for a year or more, which translates into an abandonment claim.
- Adultery: This is a classic ground, but not always an easy one to prove. If you want to assert adultery as a ground for a divorce, you need proof. That means the collection of evidence (emails, texts, videos, photographs). Private investigators are often hired to screen for surveillance.
- Legal Separation: In New York, if the parties have been legally separated for at least one year and have a legal separation agreement or a judicial court order for separation, they can then apply to the court to convert the legal separation into a divorce.
Practical Advice During the Dissolution of a Marriage — and Prior to Divorce
The dissolution of a marriage is a challenging time for the entire family. Fear of the unknown can make it extremely hard on each spouse. Make certain that before you file for divorce, you are doing everything in your power to get your physical health, mental health, and finances in order.
- Review this divorce checklist for specific suggestions on what to do.
- For example, save up money to hire an attorney. Make copies of tax returns, deeds, other account statements, and important financial documents.
- Have at least a rough understanding of what your assets and debts look like.
- Get clear in your mind what your desired outcome is for a divorce. (Do you want custody of the children, the house, learn what alimony is (or spousal maintenance), and get clear on what child support is, etc.)
Practically speaking…
- Go to the gym regularly, eat healthy foods, and get enough sleep.
- Confide in trusted family and friends for emotional support.
- If you need therapy, seek it out before you start the divorce process.
- For support and an education, explore what divorce coaching is and explore divorce support groups that make you feel normal as you grapple with this life challenge.
You’ll want to find healthy coping mechanisms for the stress and the unknown. Remember, you are not the first person to go through a divorce. You can do this, too, and will fare better not isolating yourself but relying on the support and guidance of others who have been through the process.
NOTES
A zealous advocate for her clients, Meredith L. Singer is an experienced NYC divorce attorney who strives to keep legal representation affordable and accessible.
If you live in New York City or Brooklyn, schedule your free 15-minute consultation with Meredith by emailing her at meredithsingerlaw@gmail.com
You can also visit her website here.
*We support same-sex marriages. For the sake of simplicity in this article, however, we refer to your spouse as your “husband” or a “he.”
