During a divorce, you should not post to social media in the same manner as you used to, that is, prior to beginning the divorce process. This is especially true during a contentious divorce. The old adage that “pictures speak a thousand words” should become your new gospel.

Remember that all the pictures and videos that you post online are discoverable. 

This means that they may potentially be used by your spouse and their legal team as exhibits in a motion or presented as evidence at trial.

Social Media: Divorce Advice from an Attorney

Unfortunately, perception is reality in court. If the other side raises allegations against you and they have social media evidence to support their allegations, you are going to have an uphill battle moving forward. Be smart and do not make it easy for your Ex.

While we all enjoy Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and other social media platforms, it is best to always keep your life as private as possible online. Allow me to repeat, social media is not the forum to discuss your toxic marriage or to begin the conversation (or monologue) of telling your husband you want a divorce. In fact, you should use privacy settings so that only trusted friends and family can view your photographs and videos.

While this advice may seem like common sense, many people fail to follow it.

Matrimonial attorneys have seen everything. We know what can potentially be used against you during a contentious custody dispute. If you are not certain whether your social media posts are appropriate, have your attorney review them and provide guidance as to how a court may view them. Stay vigilant, review your past posts, and delete anything inappropriate. 

Check out “What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle.”

If you must post, what follows is my list of 13 Things NOT to do.  Who am I? I am a divorce attorney who has witnessed many individual misuse the platform and suffer harm as a result.

What Not to Post on Social Media During Divorce 

1. 1. Do not post photographs of yourself partying. There should be no photographs or videos of you drinking alcohol, of alcohol bottles lying around, or of you doing drugs — even if it is “just” marijuana and legal in your state.
   2. There should be no overtly sexual photographs.
   3. There should be no videos of you physically harming, hitting, or screaming at your children or other people’s children.
   4. There should be no videos of you harming animals and pets.
   5. There should be no videos of you engaging in any criminal activities.
   6. There should be no videos of you participating in witchcraft (yes, really).
   7. There should be no videos of you documenting your citizenship journey if you are not yet an American citizen. This is paramount right now, given the climate of the current administration.
   8. There should be no nude photographs of you or your children. Trust me on this. (Even if your child is a baby or toddler and it seems innocuous, do not post any nude photos or half-naked photos of your children anywhere on the internet.) It can and will be used against you in custody litigation.
   9. Do not disparage the other parent, their close friends, or their family online. This will not only look petty and show emotional immaturity on your end, but it also clearly exhibits that you disrespect your coparent
   10. A judge will not issue joint legal custody or joint decision-making with your Ex when you clearly loathe them. Why would a judge order you to make decisions together with your Ex if there is blatant animosity or a pattern of visibly hostile behavior? There is no better evidence than bringing this to the court’s attention via social media posts that you have posted.

Maybe it’s time for you to read “Overthinking When to Leave Your Husband”?

11. Do not create websites or text content that disparages your Ex. Avoid detailing how your husband cheated, sharing personal information, or engaging in slander. Making up lies about your Ex online can seriously harm your case. This not only harms your custody case, but it also opens the door for future civil litigation for slander and libel, and potential criminal prosecution if you are engaging in what is commonly known as revenge porn. This demonstrates potential pathology and may also be indicative of serious mental health issues. None of this will serve you well in a custody dispute.

12. If you are claiming that you have health issues or recently sustained injuries that prevent you from working, do not post your new job to LinkedIn or photographs of yourself dancing. The other side will scour your social media to keep tabs on you. Do not post anything that you would not want the other side to find and use against you.

13. Do not post anything that you would not want the other side to find and use against you.

14. Do not post anything that you would not want a judge or referee to see as evidence in a custody case.

Conclusion

During a divorce, it’s wise to be mindful of all of your social media posts — as even seemingly innocent posts can be portrayed negatively by the other side. It is always best to err on the side of caution. When in doubt, do not post. But if you cannot refrain from posting, ensure that you have activated your privacy settings. Also consider unfriending or even blocking your Ex and anyone in your Ex’s corner who you would not want to have access to your photos and videos in the future.

NOTES

A zealous advocate for her clients, Meredith L. Singer is an experienced NYC divorce attorney who strives to keep legal representation affordable and accessible.

If you live in New York City or Brooklyn, schedule your free 15-minute consultation with Meredith by emailing her at meredithsingerlaw@gmail.com

You can also visit her website here.

Divorce coaches since 2012, SAS for Women has been entirely dedicated to the unexpected challenges women face while considering a divorce and navigating the divorce experience and its confusion afterward. 

SAS offers women six FREE months of email coaching, action plans, checklists, and support strategies for you and your future. All of it is delivered discreetly to your inbox. 

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*We support same-sex marriages. For the sake of simplicity in this article, however, we refer to your spouse as your “husband” or a “he.”