Dear Friend,

I have always wondered about how many people have been bullied in their life. It happens in schools, in colleges, in workplaces, and sometimes even inside homes. When someone is bullied—especially when they are young—it leaves a deep scar. It changes the way we see the world. We start keeping a certain distance from others. We begin to doubt people and their intentions, especially when someone shows us kindness. Why are they being nice? What do they want from me? Are they planning something? That seed of doubt often stays with us for years, and it makes trusting others incredibly hard.

Bullying has many different forms. It doesn’t have to be physical. In fact, most of the time, it’s mental or emotional. A few words. Remarks meant as “jokes.” Subtle exclusion. Making someone feel like an outcast. Bullies often convince themselves they aren’t doing anything wrong, because they aren’t physically hitting someone. But mental bullying can hurt just as much—sometimes even more—because those words echo in our heads long after they are spoken.

When someone is being bullied, they often begin to wonder if it’s their own fault. Maybe I did something wrong? Maybe I deserve this? I know this thought well, because I’ve felt it too. But the truth is—it’s not that you did something wrong. Most of the time, it comes from the bully’s own insecurities. They are jealous, or they feel small inside, and to gain attention they try to bring others down. Sometimes, you are simply glowing, and instead of letting your light inspire them, they try to dim it. That’s it. That’s the reason they choose you as their target. It sounds childish, but sadly, it’s very common. And since most bullies are kids themselves, it often begins in schools and colleges.

I have personally noticed two very common behaviors in children who are bullied:

1. If they are bullied for something special they have or can do—whether it’s a talent, a skill, or even just their confidence—they begin to stop doing it. They hide the very thing that makes them unique, just to blend in. To not stand out. To avoid drawing more attention.
2. They begin to believe they are not good enough. They think that everything wrong is their fault. This deep self-blame eats away at them, lowering their self-esteem, making them feel smaller and smaller each day.

And often, this goes unnoticed. Parents may be too busy to notice the changes, or kids themselves may not want to open up. Sometimes, even when they do speak up—whether to a parent, a teacher, or another adult—it gets brushed aside with a dismissive, “They’re just joking, don’t take it seriously.” That’s such a common and painful response.

In today’s world of the internet and social media, bullying has found a new home—cyberbullying. A single post, a picture, a selfie shared online can open the door to strangers who feel entitled to comment cruel things. And today’s kids are more vulnerable to this than ever before. We often forget to remind them: If you are being bullied, come to me. Tell me. I will stand with you. I will fight for you. Kids need to hear this again and again—that someone is in their corner, ready to protect them.

I have seen how kids and teenagers hide their pain when they’re being bullied. They don’t speak up, sometimes out of fear—fear of being bullied even more, fear of not being understood, or fear of being blamed for their own misery. Questions like: “What if they tell me it’s my fault?” “What if the bullies hurt me more if I complain?” “What if no one believes me?” These “WHAT IFS“ are heavy. They are hard to carry—even for adults.

And when the bullying continues, sometimes kids take extreme steps. Steps that leave their families shattered and filled with regret. The regret of not asking sooner if they were okay. The regret of not noticing the small changes. The regret of not being there. And these regrets are unbearably heavy, especially for parents.

That’s why it is so important for parents and adults to remind themselves, and to teach their children, that defending yourself is not wrong. Yes, fighting first is wrong. But standing up to protect yourself, your boundaries, or your loved ones—that is necessary. Saying ‘I’m here for you, if you ever need help, I’ll fight beside you’ is just as important as saying ‘I love you’.

To anyone reading this—if you’re being bullied—please know this: you are not weak. You are not less. You are stronger than the bullies, because you are surviving something they don’t even understand. You are brave just for coming this far.

When you see someone being bullied, please don’t look away. If you can’t step in, speak to a teacher, a parent, or a mentor. Silence gives power to the bully—and staying silent when you know what’s happening is no different than joining in.

Parents, please—ask your children how they are, again and again. Not just “How was school?” but “Are your friends kind to you?” “Is anything making you uncomfortable?” If you feel—even slightly—that something is off, do not ignore it. Reach out to their friends, their teachers, or anyone who might know more. Sometimes, it takes just one conversation to save a child.

We are meant to help each other, not hurt each other. Especially when it comes to children, who are still learning how to see themselves. Your kindness, your attention, your support can make all the difference.

If you are being bullied, or if you know someone who is—please remember this: you are not alone. You are worthy of love, respect, and protection. And together, we can choose to take the right step.

Here for you,
Your Friend 💙

Note: The Free Your Mind Mental Health Society is an independent youth-led organization. The contents of this blog are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. In the event of a medical emergency, please call your doctor or 911 or other local emergency numbers immediately.

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